“We are our stories. We compress years of experience, thought, and emotion into a few compact narratives that we convey to others and tell to ourselves…. Story represents a pathway to understanding that doesn’t run through the left side of the brain.” ~ Dan Pink, A Whole New Mind
Note: Leave a comment on this post before midnight on Sunday, September 4th, for the chance to receive a free paperback copy of the double-award winning Life with Gifted Children: Infinity and Zebra Stripes. As usual, any comment qualifies (even just a smiley!), but you could also answer the question, “What is your best advice for how to advocate for a gifted child?”
One of the habits I wish I’d developed when our son was younger was that of keeping a journal, of recording the stories of our family’s past. So many times I would like to remember details of those early years, not from the perspective of now, but as I experienced them then.
Because Wendy Skinner did keep a journal as her children grew, her journey in Life with Gifted Children: Infinity and Zebra Stripes reads like a well-paced novel. “This was our fourth school conference, and it was only the middle of October,” she begins.
“As I sat in the tiny chair with my knees bumping the edge of the low round table, I thought maybe this time we could get moving on a concrete plan for Ben. His experience in first grade up to this point had been totally lacking in any sort of academic challenge, especially in math…. My bright child was struggling against a tide of unending repetition of concepts he had mastered long ago, like counting, simple addition, and subtraction.”
How many of you who have already survived the elementary school years can feel, once again, the helplessness of not knowing how to advocate for your child? The fear of rocking the boat or appearing pushy? The uncertainty of whether your child’s needs are really all that unusual or worthy of special requests?
Reading Wendy’s book, I found myself hoping and fearing and learning right along with her as she and her husband faced one decision after another, decisions and situations familiar to any parents with highly gifted children, from whether her son, Ben, should remain in a Spanish immersion school to the pros and cons of grade acceleration, from how best to accommodate achievement gaps to bearing the pain of their young daughter’s deep depression. The surprise of the book is that it is as much a handbook for parent advocacy as it is one family’s engaging story. This would be an excellent book for parent groups or book clubs to read and to discuss.
The book ends when Wendy’s daughter and son, Jillian and Ben, are 12 and 15 years old, and I’m happy to say that Wendy will be writing a guest post here a bit later giving us all an update on her family since the writing of Life with Gifted Children. I can hardly wait for the story to continue.
Life with Gifted Children is available in paperback from Great Potential Press and for Kindle and Nook.
More Information:
“Advocating Up the Ladder,” an article by Wendy Skinner
A review of the book from the Davidson Institute for Talent Development
re: advocacy I think it is also important to realize that sometimes it is not possible (in a certain time frame) or may not be worth it. There are some (esp. private) organizations or institutions where sufficient change may not be possible in a reasonable # of years. I do want to help those “coming behind” but there is a limit to how much my child(ren) should suffer. There are some who are not yet able to “see” regardless of what article one shares or how well it is phrased.
My best advocacy advice is to make them think it was their idea (to accelerate).
Listen closely to your child and keep and open mind. The faint outline of a solution may be present in your child’s own words.
Look for solutions not someone to blame. Teach your child to do the same.
Teach and empower your child to advocate for themselves early on.
Oooh. I want to read this.
On advocacy: sometimes advocacy for one gifted kid isn’t possible without banding together with other parents to challenge systems.
The Title has captivated me!
Advocacy was a tough route to take as a parent, but has proven the single most effective means of getting my child services. I’m a G/T parent and work int he GT field. I teach all GT children to negotiate…”Hey, that assignment sounds fun! Would you mind if I added some flare to it?”
I also praise teachers for any and all accommodations they make for my son or any gifted students and I personally enjoy recognizing strengths in all children.
I’m reading this post and these comments and I feel I’m not even there yet, but I can see it all in my daughter’s future–not even in Kindergarten and, like Ben, already a master of too many things. Lisa, you always have the books I need to read. I’ll add this to the list.
I was fortunate enough to find a copy of your book, Lisa, at the library when my son was 2–it, among other things, convinced me to homeschool him. He’s now 6, very happy and confident, and loving learning. I’d love to read this book!
–Jen
Sounds like this is a book my husband and I need to read. We are facing some of these same issues with our 6 year old. The school is looking to us for how to proceed and we’re afraid of pushing her too hard. I would love to learn from Wendy Skinner’s experiences!
The way I have decided to advocate for my gifted children is to homeschool them, and to research as much as I can about giftedness and their respective intensities.
As a parent, the best way to advocate for your gifted child is to trust your gut. Then do what needs to be done. (In a state that has $0 for G/T and teachers who have never heard the term, that meant homeschooling for us.)
My advice is never give up! Persistence is necessary to overcome the “no’s” you will face.
Be public. Blog about it. My blog is RochesterSAGE.wordpress.com and it is a way I help let others in my community know about gifted education.
I could not get help advocating for my super intelligent but backwards acting Aspergian children, so I am teaching them at home. I teach them what they want to learn at the level they want to learn.
This sounds absolutely wonderful. I did not do a great job advocating for my son. We pulled him out of school, halfway through last year, to homeschool. They had moved him up a grade and let him do accelerated work on his own, but he was extremely bored the rest of the day. And would then find ways to amuse himself (talking, drawing,etc) ….that would land him in trouble. Would love to use this when we put him back in ps system.
My husband and I are extremely interested in reading this book. We are the parents of a gifted eight year old girl, and we are sometimes at a loss of how to be her advocate.
This sounds like a book I need to read. Our 10 year old son is about as 2e as they come, and advocating for him, when it appears to the untrained eye that he is average, is proving to be more difficult than ever.
Acceleration takes many forms…I’m glad my son is able to accelerate his studies but with children his age and intellect!
The key to advocacy for me has been to know who your allies are & understand the politics of the school system
In my opinion advocacy involves a lot of listening, teaching, helping, and patience.
This looks like an excellent and timely book. I often feel inadequate dealing with many of the issues that I face as the parent of a gifted child.
Thank you Lisa for mentioning this book. I’ve seen it in the catalog and never really gave it much thought. I’d be very interested in reading it.
I advocate for my children and others by getting involved with the state and Local NAGC affiliates.
This sounds like a really interesting book.
Katie
http://www.coffeehousediscussions.wordpress.com
Thank you to everyone for participating in the giveaway and for your thoughtful answers to the question about advocacy (which I will share tomorrow in a post).
Congratulations to Kathy Stemke, who is the random drawing winner of a copy of Wendy Skinner’s book Life with Gifted Children: Infinity and Zebra Stripes!